I have always had a problem with trusting people and now I am seeing the same person in one of my dear friends. Not being able to trust someone is the hardest thing in life. Trust builds everything else. I want her to know that I would do anything for her. I want her to know that I know how it feels and its not easy to get over it but we are here for her. Life has its downfalls but its worth it. If i would of not met her on the first day i am not sure what i would be doing now with my life. she has brought so many other people into my life that i truly appreciate now. these girls are like my sisters here. if i ever really need anything they are there. I want her to know the same. it hurts me inside to see her down. it makes me want to cry, more then anything. We love her!!!!!! I hope she reads this and smiles cuz thats all i want to see is a smile on her face!
This weekend...well i dont even know where to start. Friday we went bowling and that was fun. At first we all thought we were going to shoot annoying ass people that cant make up their mind. Bowling was actually fun. Flirting with Josh and is always a challenge but i like it. Bertha was there too. I tend not to like her cuz she is always trying to get at him. I just dont know. Saturday was an interesting day and night. Jenny, Josh and I went shopping for like three hours and that was fun. Josh was really quiet but we walked around together and talked. it was nice to just talk. Then we came back to the dorm I was so confused about him. Kinda wanted to scream...but didnt get a chance to because toni needed someone to jumps brandon's car and they were stranded in kohl's parking lot. great time. we get there and someone else had done it but then we decided to hang with them. We went back to the mall for another 3 hours. We got six hours of shopping in and i bought NOTHING!!! wow so proud. I came back to the dorm and well thats when I had my emotional break down. I was confused about josh, I had friends that wanted me to be there for them but them not there for me. I cried for awhile. you can see by the blog before this that i was not to happy. I wanted to left alone. Then saturday night we hung with tons of people. had a blast, danced, laughed, cuddled with josh!!!!!! I wanted to kiss him so bad but it didnt happen. Now i am even more confused about him. I think he likes me but how dont i know he isn't doing the same thing with Bertha. he could be a playa. I have been there. UGH!!! I DONT KNOW!!! alot of other stuff happened that night but its not something everyone needs to know. not much else going on in my life. my kidney has been hurting but i am hoping that its nothing serious. It was an interesting weekend! one that will be in my memory forever.
lovesemihate
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