Monday, February 25, 2008

Can I ask you a question?

It is going to be a good week! well at least I hope its going to be a good week. Now that I say that my luck a swarm of bees are going to attack me or something. haha Last week ended up being pretty good. I dont really remember much of it. I was really busy and sometimes I wish I wasn't but it keeps me occupied. Thursday was Josh's birthday and Jenny and I made him a card. haha it was out of control. Well we didnt make it we just destroyed the one we bought. Back to wednesday....haha that was an out of control day. BUT! Toni, Meghan, Jenny and I watched the Lunar Eclipse and that was intense. haha even though we are not sure what happened because the moon was not completly covered. It was fun though! Jenny dominated her head on Josh's door trying to slide the card under it and I felt bad. Um...thursday night Josh slept on our floor for like two hours not sure why but he def did. Jenny and I were laughing because Josh snores. It was too funny. He falls asleep so fast. At breakfast the next day he mentioned it in front of everyone and I am pretty sure Kelly hates my guts. Friday..what a weird day. We hung out in Toni's room. It was going good until stupid fuck lets call him Bob had to make stupid comments about Josh and I. I hate when people do that its like shut the fuck up. Just cuz Josh laid down and put his head on my lap. I feel bad for Bob sometimes but damn it dont ruin things for me. He made some comments to Jenny too and I didnt think they were very nice. I think it comes down to him being jealous. Saturday was a good day? maybe? haha we went out to eat and went to shopko that was fun. Then we played Taboo. It was Josh and I vs Mitch and Jenny and well lets just say my team was winning until I made a few blonde moment guesses. haha Josh won't let me live that down. Jenny, Mitch and I went to a really fancy place to eat. I liked it. The interior decor was great. I am really interested in stuff like decorations and mood settings...sometimes I wish I would follow that path but it doesn't seem right for me. All I am going to say about the rest of the night is I slept in Josh's room....nothing happened...we cuddled and it was AMAZING!!!!

I really like him but part of me is worried. I just want to ask him one question but I dont have the guts to do it. I just want to know how he feels about Kelly. I dont want to be the other girl. I was that for the longest time with Johnny. I really dont want to get played over and it worries me. I am not sure what I should do??? I dont worry about it to much due to the fact he hangs with me alot but idk. It always there in the back of my mind thinking maybe he likes her too. I hate when he is texting her when he is with me, I know I have no control over it but ugh.

So I have decided to not take this summer job. I feel like I would not be committed to it. My emotional status has been up and down for the last month and I dont want to go out there and it be the same. I just want to have a normal summer. I just want to be able to do what I want. Yea my friends probably wont be around but really thats ok with me. I think I need time to myself. Teenie and Kim are the only ones in Beloit that matter anymore. (They are suppose to come here this weekend and I am praying that it works out and they can come!!!) Summer = fun and well thats what I want to have.

loveloveconfusion...its my daily life

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