Crushing.....:(

ugh...i dont even know what to say right now. I am crushing hard core and I dont even know what to do. I just keep smiling and ugh I hate this. I just want to know what he thinks. Anything that is all i ask for. something a hint. I think he flirts back but I dont know. He is so hott. Listen to me go on and on about him. Hanging out with him just makes my day. I just want to get lost in his world. When I talk to him its like there is no one else in this world....this sounds so bad. I dont even know if he likes me. I want to scream. Tonight was the best. Just hanging out with him and our friends. Now I am sad cuz he is gone and I am left doing homework.

ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS IF I HAVE A CHANCE!!!!

its official i have a little school girl crush. I think its more then a crush. Its likeness like no other. I have never had to work so hard to just find out if I have a chance.

well classes were fun today. I am not looking forward to classes ALL day tomorrow but all well...um my mom sent dexter so I am pretty excited about that. My roommate and I got really far on Donkey Kong so that made life even better. Not much else new.

I end thinking the same thing I started with...do I have a chance? Is it worth it?

lovelove

Breaking my back just to know your name....

someone told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend that i use to have. that would be a really interesting situation..not gonna lie. so day two of classes a lot better then day one. I like all my classes but not to sure about the professors. Last night was a blast..random nights never fail to amaze me in my life. I should be doing homework but thats ok. its snowing like crazy outside and i think i am gonna freeze if i go out there. I have always wondered what it would be like if i was a snowman...haha i know random but it would be fun. I am very sad my mom forgot to send me dexter and i am addicted to him. I need him. what else? um I love to jamming out to music. That is what I am doing and just chilling.

baby boi
I really like

ok back to today....I am hoping to watch a episode of v mars...but thats about it. my life is boring but fun. haha

lovelove

First day of classes

I am so scared of my english professor! OMG!!! he scares the crap out of me. I know I took him on purpose due to being a harder grader and helping you to improve your writing but damn he is insane. Its going to be an interesting semester. I have english, intro to minority cultures, health education, contemporary global issues and chemistry. Its not gonna be to easy. So far i have only had two of those classes english and minority class. I LOVE my minority professor he is hilarious. he does have an accent which at points is hard to understand but not to bad. He is from Sudan, which is pretty sweet. My girl Lindsey is in that class with me so I know its gonna be a blast. When we get together we are out of control. I hope tomorrow I am not scared of my professor like today. I thought he was gonna like eat me alive. eeeeee

My room is a mess...i really should clean it but dont have the energy to do it. I miss my friends from beloit. I love college but sometimes I just want those friends who have known you for ages. I want a steady man. Beloit always offered me the opportunity to have someone, not a boyfriend just someone to have. Here I have to work for it and I am starting to think that maybe its not worth it. I have learned that the saying once you go black you dont go back is true. I am having a really hard time liking someone who is not black. I know there is nothing wrong with it but ugh its hard. who knows...I guess I have to just wait and see.

Lovelove

The infamous break...

well i was away from this place i have started to call home for about 6 weeks and i am not sure what really happened in that time. Yea i know i went home and had a great time with friends but thats it. I didnt do anything amazing....kinda sucks. I very well known man died at home when I was there. Ken Hendricks was a miracle worker. He did so much for our city its crazy. I looked up to him. Even though people talk shit about Beloit and how it sucks I have always wanted to make a difference. Mr. Hendricks did so. I know that one day I will make a difference in that city and I will see Beloit become what I know it can become. I hate to sound cheesy but that is my dream. Hendricks death was a shock, no one thought the day would come. A freak accident and your life is gone; how does this happen to someone so amazing I ask? no one knows the answer. It was a rather sad break. I lost a lot of great friends. One especially that was my best friend for years. Her and I were just on two different pages. She cared more about popularity and I could care less. Sometimes I miss her and just want to pick up the phone and talk but I cant. I know things are better off this way. Otherwise I have come to have a great core group of friends. We all have fun together in a weird way. Sometimes I wonder about a few but I know that it is their life and I can no longer step in. Mistakes are bound to happen I just hope that none of them ends up to hurt. I moved back into my dorm yesterday and that was a blast. I missed being here...this place...a place I have come to call home. I am not sure why but I fit in here...one would think otherwise but I do in an odd way. Of course there is a guy here that makes things much more interesting but I dont know where him and I stand. I like to think that there is more then friendship but I am not sure. We talk alot and I love to hang out with him...there is just that I dont know factor. Life would not be fun without competition. There is another girl that likes him and well he doesn't knw about her either even better right? thats what i think. Over break I guess I forgot how amazingly hott he is. (I use amazing alot...hm must find new word). My friends here including him make me feel better about myself. I can be me and not worry about being looked down upon. I wonder if college will always be like this...part of me knows it will not be. We can always fool ourselves into thinking all is well. Well I start classes tomorrow so I am off to a dreamland...hopefully good ones. LOVELOVE