I hate this part right here

AH! I am done with fighting....all Jason and I do is fight anymore. We have not talked in five days and it is killing me. I try to make things work but he won't talk to me. I just want to talk to him and figure out what I need to do. Maybe it is time for us to go our separate ways or maybe we need this to be stronger I am not sure as of right now. Ever since Christmas I have had doubts and I don't know why. I just want it to work but he says everything is fine blah blah blah.....I can't see myself without him. Single......it has been awhile since I have had that freedom. Pretty sure I don't want it again. My heart hurts....my body hurts....ugh lets get over this

2009!!!!

Ah! well 2009 has started off bad. I re read my last post and I was so excited to go home and now I look back on it and home sucked. My mom and I were able to get over our differences which was a plus yet one things goes right another goes wrong. Jason and I are having problems. Or maybe it's me that is having a problem. There is no communication and it drives me off the wall. I say I love you he says see ya later. I say why don't you say it and he ignores me. sigh
Ask myself is it me? Do I not communicate? Do we both not communicate? Am I worrying over nothing? Am I being stupid? UGH!!!! Relationships take so much work! Why can't life be easy?

Now that that is out of the way. Hm...2009 brings new hopes and dreams. haha dreams that will never be reached. I want to be in Beloit. I want to be with Jason. I want to be happy. Why can't I have these things? Because I want want want when really what I need is an education. stupid school.

J-term starts tomorrow! YAY! hate it. maybe I need a distraction for awhile. maybe i need to drop out of life. haha see the confusion that goes on. I hate it!

Well I hate this weather! Hopefully it starts to get warm in like a month....highly doubt it but I can hope.

loveconfusion!