The infamous break...

well i was away from this place i have started to call home for about 6 weeks and i am not sure what really happened in that time. Yea i know i went home and had a great time with friends but thats it. I didnt do anything amazing....kinda sucks. I very well known man died at home when I was there. Ken Hendricks was a miracle worker. He did so much for our city its crazy. I looked up to him. Even though people talk shit about Beloit and how it sucks I have always wanted to make a difference. Mr. Hendricks did so. I know that one day I will make a difference in that city and I will see Beloit become what I know it can become. I hate to sound cheesy but that is my dream. Hendricks death was a shock, no one thought the day would come. A freak accident and your life is gone; how does this happen to someone so amazing I ask? no one knows the answer. It was a rather sad break. I lost a lot of great friends. One especially that was my best friend for years. Her and I were just on two different pages. She cared more about popularity and I could care less. Sometimes I miss her and just want to pick up the phone and talk but I cant. I know things are better off this way. Otherwise I have come to have a great core group of friends. We all have fun together in a weird way. Sometimes I wonder about a few but I know that it is their life and I can no longer step in. Mistakes are bound to happen I just hope that none of them ends up to hurt. I moved back into my dorm yesterday and that was a blast. I missed being here...this place...a place I have come to call home. I am not sure why but I fit in here...one would think otherwise but I do in an odd way. Of course there is a guy here that makes things much more interesting but I dont know where him and I stand. I like to think that there is more then friendship but I am not sure. We talk alot and I love to hang out with him...there is just that I dont know factor. Life would not be fun without competition. There is another girl that likes him and well he doesn't knw about her either even better right? thats what i think. Over break I guess I forgot how amazingly hott he is. (I use amazing alot...hm must find new word). My friends here including him make me feel better about myself. I can be me and not worry about being looked down upon. I wonder if college will always be like this...part of me knows it will not be. We can always fool ourselves into thinking all is well. Well I start classes tomorrow so I am off to a dreamland...hopefully good ones. LOVELOVE